Intuition

About an 8 minute read.

We hear a lot about a woman’s intuition and how you should always trust it and how it’s never wrong. It’s such a pervasive phenomenon in American media culture. We’ve all seen a movie or a tv show where the woman can feel that her husband (or fiancé or boyfriend) is cheating but they just can’t prove it. As the plot goes on, the man is being extra sweet bringing his significant other flowers, telling her he loves her, they have amazing sex and everything seems good EXCEPT she still has this gut feeling that something is wrong. She tries to talk it over with her girlfriends who either tell her a) he’s the perfect man for her and she should stop tripping before she ruins a good thing or b) they agree that they should go on some kind of covert mission and bust him so they spend days stalking him and looking through his things.

It seems like since this is frequently portrayed on television that regular (for lack of a better term) women everywhere seem to always have this feeling that their man is also cheating and they must constantly snoop around to make sure he isn’t because they aren’t quite sure that they’re having the gut feeling too or if it’s the Taco Bell they ate before.

So then what is intuition ? Well dictionary.com and websters dictionary say that intuition is ‘the ability to understand something immediately, instinctively without the need for conscious reasoning. Many sources and people I’ve come across have deemed intuition as the sixth sense (not to be confused with the movie where the kid sees dead people).

The late Middle English translation denoted intuition as spiritual insight or immediate spiritual communication (where the seeing of dead people as a 6th sense originated from). However, like many things back in the olden, highly superstitious days, it was spiritually deemed due to the lack of scientific evidence. Because if you can’t explain it, it’s from the devil of course.

Psychology today has 3 separate definitions for what they believe intuition is: “1) Instinct is our innate inclination toward a particular behavior (opposed to a learned response). 2) A gut feeling – or a hunch – is a sensation that appears quickly in consciousness (noticeable enough to be acted on if one chooses to) without us being fully aware of the underlying reasons for its occurrence. 3) Intuition is a process that gives us the ability to know something directly without analytic reasoning, bridging the gap between the conscious and the nonconscious part of our mind, and also between instinct and reason.”

It’s also noted that the deep truths of yourself and the universe are most clearly revealed from intuition upon the moment you’re falling asleep and when you very first rise. Several articles allude to the fact that our dreams and our intuition are, in fact, one in the same. Both are said to stem from our unconscious or subconscious thoughts.

Prior to looking up information on the topic, I had my own theory on what intuition may be. So buckle your seat belts and follow me on this train of thought. Our brains have this enormous capacity to intake information. We see and hear and feel and smell so much more every single day, even hour than we even acknowledge. Compare it to your gmail account. At first, you get all kinds of junk in your inbox. No big deal because since you just started it, there aren’t many emails in general anyway. But as time goes on, you get some important emails that you must tend to, and you delete the ones that are nonsense. Then after a few months, gmail uses an algorithm of sorts and automatically starts filtering certain emails into spam or clutter based on your past behavior. If you’re like me, you check those folders like twice a year and very occasionally you find that something you needed was spammed or cluttered before you even saw it.

The same goes for our mind. When we’re toddlers we remember almost everything because well, there just isn’t much going on that young. Then the older we get, into grade school, we start deciding what information we learn that we need (don’t put forks in sockets or foil in microwaves) and information we don’t need (mom is mad because gas is $4 a gallon and Destiny at school knows all the words to Brenda’s got a baby from Tupac). Then once we’re in like middle school, our brains start automatically filtering info based on our past behaviors. Now we don’t even hear the weird kid in the corner during lunch time talking to himself and when our parents are yelling at us, it’s going in one ear and out the other. Then one day when you’re 25 and you’re sitting with your iPad at the table blogging while your 4 year old is screaming the lyrics to frozen and using the counter and dry erase markers as a drumset you suddenly remember why in 4th grade Ms. Caldwell died laughing when Desiree said orgasm instead of organism in science class.

So all of the information we ignore is still getting processed. It’s just doing so in the background and when the time comes where we need it, it feels as if it comes out of nowhere and we just can’t put our fingers on it.

Psychology today, in another artical on radical remission explains that humans have 2 different operating systems. System 1 is said to be the limbic and reptililian side of the brain. The one that makes us carnal and animalistic. Pure instinct. This is the part of the brain that scientists believe we developed in prehistoric times in order to survive before language developed. (Not my personal belief.) Then there’s system 2, which is slower,  but it’s the reasoning, rational part of our brains that we’re exercising on a regular basis. It’s said that 80% of our grey matter is working on system 1.

There has been several medical studies on the subject as well. A famous card study by some guy and a car buying study by some other dude. Both studies, and others, conclude that when people follow their intuition they’re about 60% more satisfied with their decision in the end. The people that take hours on end to reasearch and use logic end up not vey satisfied and feel mediocre and apathetic throughout life. You can read more about these here.

So why is intuition said to be a woman’s thing if it’s really just a brain thing ? In short, because ‘murica. Our society here in the western world teaches that intuition is purely animalistic and cannot be trusted. We are told that people who do things on a whim by using their gut feeling can’t be trusted and that they’re often crazy or it’s just women being naggin women. We’re taught that only logic and reasoning skills are valued and acceptable, especially in the corporate world where there’s so much stake.

In addition, since manly men have no feelings (refer to bender from futurama as the perfect example of acceptable male behavior) basing decisions off a FEELING is very homosexual unfortunately. Intuition is a kin to sensitivity which is paralleled to female behavior. Any man who partakes is immediately feminized.

If you’re a man who is secure and confident with your amount of testerone, or a woman who would like to fine tune their superpower, there’s much information on how to hone into intuition. Huffington Post says, “If you want to get in touch with [your intuition], you need solitude.” When you let your mind wander and block out the outside noises in a calm,relaxing environment, you’d be surprised with the information your brain digs up and throws to the front of the line. You can learn about how to access it here.

So the moral of the story: Listen to your gut. It’s where the second, more reliable brain is.

 

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And above all, stay golden. Rose golden.

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Success Plan

[About a 5 minute read]

First things first.. What is a success plan and why the fuck should you have one ?!

Let us start with a quote from one of my favorite motivational speakers and best-selling author of Grow A Pair and People Are Idiots And I Can Prove It, Larry Winget. He says, “Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don’t have a plan.” His brutal honesty appeases me greatly. 

With the help of Mind Of A Winner : A success plan can be explained as a plan that defines what’s important to you, what you want to achieve and how to achieve it. I know, I know. You already know what you’re doing and it’s all stored in your mind and things are going great and everything will be okay and God has a plan and He has your back and you don’t need to take the time to actually write things down because you’re already super busy. Trust me, I’ve heard every excuse/explanation there is.

But hear me out… by developing a plan for your future (tentatively of course because nothing ever really goes as planned) you’ll be able to bask in an ambiance of security and control. And we all know that we’re capable of some crazy shit when we feel out of control and insecure.

So, with a success plan, if you ever find yourself in a quarter life crisis or a midlife crisis and you have no idea what to do with your life, you’ll have a handy dandy roadmap to guide the way ! Disclaimer: Having said plan doesn’t guarantee success. It simply, yet significantly, increases the likeliness that your life will go right… whatever right means for you. 

So now that we know what it is and why we should have one, what should it include ?  Well according to our friends over at Right.Com your success plan should include the following:

  • Are you currently happy and/or satisfied ?
  • If not, what needs to happen to make you happy or satisfied ?
  • What are your goals ?
    • Personal ?
    • Career-driven ?
    • Spiritual ?
    • Parental ?
    • Physical ?
    • Mental ?
  • What vision do you have for your life ?
  • What is your mission ?
  • What are your priorities ?
  • What are your core beliefs ?
  • What are your strengths ? Your weaknesses ?
  • How will you reach your goals ?
  • Do you need to acquire additional skills to meet those goals ?

Admittedly, it’s quite a bit of info. However, the more detailed you are the better. It’s worth thinking about and mulling over BECAUSE IT’S YOUR LIFE AT STAKE ! I’m sure we all want happy, productive, colorful lives that we can be proud of on our death beds. 

So of course, I’ve practiced what I’m preaching, so to speak. I’ve included all of the above in my personal success plan plus adding my own flare to it. Since knowledge is power, I’ve included information about the various mental health diagnoses I’ve received. Knowing more about them feels like unlocking the key to myself. I’ve also broken my goals into long term, mid term and short term categories. Focusing on the big picture all the time is very anxiety provoking so breaking things up into small steps works for me.

Also, because everyone needs a little encouragement I have my favorite quotes and scriptures along with tips on how to be happy, how to raise a confident daughter in a misogynistic world and should the time ever come…how to be a good wife (I’m not holding my breath though).

Since sharing is caring, here’s my actual personal mission statement. Maybe it’ll give you ideas or a jump start to creating your own plan.

I will measure my success by the level of my daughters’ happiness and the permanence of my own happiness. I will live honestly with a healthy balance between optimism, idealism, and realism. I will not be confined and bound by traditions, social norms and the unsolicited opinions of others. I will take responsibility for both my actions and my emotions. I will live a life I’m proud of. I will not tolerate disrespect or other toxicity on any level. 

As with any plan, it’s also good to occasionally check back in to see how you’re doing and to see if anything needs to be revised. I like to look at mine every day as a reminder and to make sure I stay on track from day to day. I’ve also inserted 20 self-reflective questions at the end of my success plan. A few of the questions are:

  • Have I done anything noteworthy lately ?
  • What motivates me ?
  • What bad habits do I want to break ?

They don’t relate DIRECTLY to my goals but in a round about way they’re very important questions. Are my bad habits getting in the way of my success ? Is a lack of motivation stifling my career goals ? Am I so bored that everything I do is without passion and unenjoyable ?

So to wrap this article up (for future reference, I’m really bad at concluding things) I would like to implore you all to make a success plan so your life sucks a little bit less or a whole lot less than it does now. 

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Stay golden. Rose Golden.

Rose Golden

I plan on using this platform to tackle societal issues that weigh heavy on my soul. Please feel free to dialogue with me. Follow this site or as I like to put it, keep collecting gems, by clicking the button at the bottom of the page.