Sacrifice

About a 6 minute read.

A strong relationship starts with two people who are ready to sacrifice anything for each other.

The thought catalog gives 5 reasons having a boyfriend is awesome. Of course everyone is different but in a nutshell what they say is pretty true. The reasons include: constant snuggles (or other forms of affection. someone to vent to. the way he looks at you (or other ways of making you feel special). never feeling lonely. totally being yourself.

Without these 5 things in totality, there’s basically no point in being in a relationship. Now of course life happens. You’re having a bad day and you don’t really feel like engaging in conversation. Maybe you’re tired and need to be alone. Maybe you’re moody and you’re being a little short. These are, of course, okay once in a while, as we are all human. However, problems come when these things are constant.

Self-absorption has no place in a healthy, happy relationship. When you love someone truly, you know that they have needs too and you want to do everything in your power to make sure those needs are met. That’s where sacrifice comes into the picture.

Maybe you had a shitty day at work and you want nothing more than to just go home and go to sleep but you haven’t spoke to your loved one all day. Sacrificing a few minutes to tell them you love them or even just that you’re tired shouldn’t be too much to ask. It shouldn’t even feel like a burdensome sacrifice. It’s just being considerate and having open communication. Even more so when you know that your loved one is also having a rough time and could really use the affection.  If it feels like too much to ask… that’s a clue that being in a relationship maybe shouldn’t be an option right now.

Are you noticing that maybe your partner previously shared a lot with you but recently they are hardly telling you anything ? It could be that you’ve recently created an environment that makes them feel the need to filter themselves. Or maybe you’ve been making them feel neglected or unappreciated. Maybe they’ve tried to talk to you about it but you took it as an attack instead of a conversation. The loving thing to do would be to sacrifice a little time, and maybe some pride, if that’s in the way, to see what’s going on in their mind. When you truly love someone, you want them to feel like they can be themselves and like they can tell you anything without feeling antagonized in return. The keyword here is feel. Maybe you tell them that they can share anything with you. If you’re not making them feel that way though, it’s an issue. One of the main reasons people enter into a relationship is so they have someone they can be themselves with and someone they can share everything with openly, no matter how big or small. If this doesn’t seem appealing to you, maybe you’re not ready for a relationship. 

Also, if you find yourself saying (or hearing) that one isn’t the type to sacrifice or they often allude to the fact that you both need to just take care of yourselves, maybe that’s a sign that your relationship will never work out. After all, one of the reasons humans enter into relationships is so that they can depend on someone to take care of them and vice versa.

A relationship where only one person is constantly making these sacrifices is called a one-sided relationship. THIS IS WILDLY UNHEALTHY. Because when you’re in love, you should be willing to do anything in your power to make your significant other happy. Elite Daily lists 8 painful signs that point to the fact that you’re in a one-sided relationship. 5 and 7 are what hit me the hardest. If you’re constantly stressed out with your relationship, is it really worth being in ? Science has proven hundreds of adverse effects that come along with stress. If your life is already stressful, I’m sure you’re in a relationship in hopes to relieve some of that stress. Also, if you’re telling your friends what’s going on in your life and they’re saying things like, “what an asshole,” “man that’s fucked up,” “he ain’t shit,” and “you deserve better,”… but you’re defending and justifying his behavior…take that as a sign. A bad sign.

Maybe this post reminds you of your relationship. Don’t assume that he or she doesn’t love you. Maybe he or she does love and care about you. It could be that the problem is that he or she doesn’t know how to love. Or at the very least, maybe they don’t know how to love you the way that you need to be loved. If that’s the case, it is up to you to decide whether or not the relationship is worth it. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” It’s important not to have the intention to change the person or ‘teach’ them how to love you. That’s impossible. People need to be accepted for who and how they are. If you feel the need to change your partner… you probably shouldn’t be with them. If they recognize that there is a problem, on the other hand, and they choose themselves that change is necessary, they’re probably a keeper.

Also keep in mind that every relationship, both intimate and platonic, takes work. If you’re still in the ‘getting to know each other’ phase, maybe it’ll  just take some time to get used to each other and adjust accordingly. This is all my opinion from my experience of course. I thought I’d still share.

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And as always, stay golden. Rose golden.

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